After a heist at a small Texas brothel leaves the Madame and a few of the girls dead, the surviving “escorts” arm themselves to track down and seek vengeance against the thieves responsible (as well as recovering their well-earned money) in Girls, Guns, and Blood, a 2019 sexploitation/action/comedy from directors Thegin German and Robert Rowland (who also produced the film). Delivering exactly what the title promises (albeit a little skimpy on the “blood”), the film features a bevy of notable “adult film” stars of both the “softcore” and not-so-“softcore” varieties, such as Christine Nguyen, Cherie DeVille, and Britney Amber.
The film plays a bit like one of Andy Sidaris’s films from the 80’s/90’s, featuring a cast of well-endowed actresses baring various amounts of skin while they gun down and kick their way through a small group of baddies in numerous violent, and sometimes sexual, ways. As expected, there is a healthy dose of action, but arguably maybe not as much “stimulation” as one might expect with such a cast. Sure, there’s a few moments of comic relief and more than a few 80’s-era guitar riffs to help move things along, but let’s be honest, boobs are a huge (pun intended) part of why you watch films such as this in the first place.
The film does a solid job of delivering the “goods” early on, opening with a fight sequence featuring well-endowed actress Rebecca Love in lingerie, and soon segueing into a slow-motion sequence of Cherie DeVille rising topless from a swimming pool. Sure, she gives a “simulated” blowjob to a guy in a hot tub just mere moments later, but it’s far less explicit than similar scenes in countless other late-night Skinemax features and may be taken as a slight disappointment to the avid viewers of those films.
Unfortunately, most of the attempts at humor fall flat, or worse, are carried on for far too long. This tends to make most of the comedic scenes feel like padding to the film’s already shortened runtime. As the film already features a few other moments that feel like padding, this does seriously hinder the film’s pacing. That said, once things really get rolling, there is enough guns a’blazing and karate kicks flying to help provide that much sought after adrenaline boost that action movies need, even campy low-budget ones such as this. It’s also worth noting that the film does feature some solid stunt work, particularly from the actresses.
Ultimately, Girls, Guns, and Blood is nothing more than mindless fluff entertainment. Sure, it could have been a little more exhilarating or titillating… heh heh… titillating… but it provides a quick dose of sophmoric entertainment and a healthy dose of boobs. And as I’ve already mentioned, that’s what you are really watching films like this for. That said, if you are primarily looking for something to slap your gherkin to, you’d probably be better off seeking out any of these actresses’ other films… or just hitting up sites like XNXX.com or Pornhub.com. That advice was free…. and so are those sites.
Girls, Guns, and Blood is available on Amazon Video: https://amzn.to/2XSvhLu