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Greetings, Ghoulies!

I’m your host, Dustin J. Fallon, and welcome to another Horror And Sons film review.

Today, I’ll be discussing what some might label a “regional horror” film; that is, a horror film produced outside of the Hollywood studio system.  Today’s film was released in 1991, although it’s probably a safe assumption from clothing and hairstyles that at least part of the film was shot during the late 1980s. Perhaps not too surprisingly, it comes from the “far off land” of Pennsylvania, a place where making your own low-budget horror film was seemingly a “rite of passage” during the decade. This sentiment, as well as the locale, is fairly evident from the film’s opening shot; a sunlit cemetery on a country road, which evokes flashbacks of and is clearly a “nod” to the opening of Night of the Living Dead.

Today’s film is The Horror of the Hungry Humongous Hungan, and as anyone who has actually watched the film can verify, my previous comments on the opening shot will be the ONLY comparisons made to Romero’s 1968 classic.

The Horror of the Hungry Humongous Hungan was directed by Randall Dininni, who co-wrote the film with one Michael Bertoldi. The Horror of the Hungry Humongous Hungan serves as the only film credit for either man, although some might argue they probably shouldn’t get credit for this one either… and yes, that was a “spoiler” of which direction this review is about to go. The film was picked up for distribution by Troma Entertainment, which says all you need to know for some listeners, and has been released on both VHS and DVD over the years.

Now, plot seems to be an afterthought as far as The Horror of the Hungry Humongous Hungan is concerned, which is why the film features like four of them going on at once. Granted, none of these plotlines have much to do with each other, but like I said, it’s the “afterthought that counts”. (No, that’s not true, nor did I actually say that) At its most basic, Hungry Humongous Hungan appears to be little more than a movie about a zombie who wears a cheap, novelty “grandpa” wig and brandishes a pair of long black talons where one of his hands should be. In one plot line, the creature is a “Frankenstein’s Monster” created from stolen body parts by a mad scientist… which doesn’t explain the talons. In another, he’s a resurrected Haitian voodoo priest… which doesn’t explain why he’s white, hanging out in Pennsylvania, or the aforementioned talons. Yet, in a third, he’s the “boogeyman” from a teenage girl’s nightmares… which doesn’t explain anything!

Perhaps most confusing of all, however, is the fact that The Horror of the Hungry Humongous Hungan features a 3-minute opening narration from Oscar-winning actor Jack Palance! To be fair, Palance didn’t win his Oscar for City Slickers until 1992, well after this film’s release. Although previously nominated as Best Supporting Actor in 1953 for Sudden Fear and again in 1954 for Shane, Palance did occasionally find himself in lower-budget affairs at this point in his career, such as the Gor (G-O-R) films, but nothing this low-budget and, well, amateurish. There’s some speculation that Troma fronted his bill in order to add some name recognition, even if only in voice-over form. However, as Palance also hailed from Pennsylvania, there’s some possibility that he accepted the role as a sign of goodwill towards a fellow native. Even then, his fee surely accounted for 97.5% of the film’s budget, and his monolog explaining the origin of the term “hungan” kinda sounds like an outtake from one of Palance’s old “Ripley’s Believe It or Not” episodes. Of course… it’s delivered in that same raspy, paused-filled cadence of his… that made everything sound more threatening and ominous… than it really was.

As the film opens, teenage couple Brad and Linda are preparing for a hike through the woods, presumably to meet up with some friends. Within mere moments, the Hungan… who is neither humongous nor seemingly all that hungry as he’s never shown eating anything… leaps out from some bushes… well, leaps out from some bush (singular) and graphically mauls Brad to death. By “graphically mauls”, I mean that the actor lies on the ground while the Hungan lightly pats some fake guts tossed on the boy’s stomach. After reaching her quota of tripping over absolutely nothing at all, Linda is also caught by the Hungan, only for the scene to be revealed as just a bullshit dream sequence.

From here, we move to some sort of laboratory, where we are introduced to our “Dr. Frankenstein” and his as-of-yet unfinished creation. While these experiments have no relation whatsoever to the scientist’s actual job of cancer research, the man does seem oblivious that his creation may have any connection to voodoo, as presumably would the viewer were it not for Palance’s earlier speech. As if to help reinforce this disconnect between the two, there’s a very quick sequence of someone in a hooded black robe reciting some sort of incantation over flickering candles… which I guess is voodoo-y enough for this film. Spoiler… you never find out who they are. You also never learn why they are here. Hell, I’m not even sure why I’m here.

As we’re only just over 15 minutes into the film’s 100-minute runtime by this point, one might think that we’re establishing a central story idea and that more will be revealed as the film progresses. One would also be wrong. So wrong.

Instead, The Horror of the Hungry Humongous Hungan does pretty much nothing for the next 20-plus minutes aside from playing showcase for a local rock band called Cry Wolf, whose songs are far too repetitive to be so damned long. Quite a few minor supporting characters and “bit players” are introduced, with more “screen time” focused on them than on what we’re lead to believe is the film’s central characters. Granted, they will all be promptly killed off once the Hungan is brought to life. So, yeah… who gives a shit? Oh, a Pee-Wee Herman impersonator also shows because “why not?”

The Hungan ventures into town, killing off a few more superfluous extras, such as a bum and a couple of waitresses, but not before the viewer is treated to a riveting sequence of extras placing their entire dinner order. Look, editing costs money, people… and as evidenced by this film, so does lighting. What obviously did not cost money, however, was Cry Wolf’s appearance as we are mistreated to even more of their songs.

The Horror of the Hungry Humongous Hungan spends the next 45 minutes devolving into a highly uninspired and fairly bloodless “teenage campers get killed” film, and at an excruciating snail-like pace! Numerous teens whose names you were never all that aware of to begin with are taken out by the Hungan. Linda also numbers among the Hungan’s victims, but as the character does little besides whine about her multiple dreams, many viewers will be happy to see her finally shut up. However, just as many will wish that the Hungan had also shut the Hell up as the best quip that he can offer the girl before killing her is “Now, I’m here, and you’re not going to be!” Really? That’s the best you can offer someone after chasing them for what feels like an eternity? 

Closing out the whole affair with something of a “thud”, the Hungan is finally dispatched with nothing more than a fucking stick. Yeah, you heard that right! A common, run of the mill, all over the gawd damned woods stick! The bitch could have tripped and killed himself at any point! Although bullshit, the conclusion is befitting and somewhat symbolic. Ya know, as watching the film in its entirety is probably equivalent to poking yourself in both eyes with a sharp pointy stick.

Truthfully, The Horror of the Hungry Humongous Hungan is a 15-minute film, albeit with 85-minutes of padding. Acting is generally poor, but as most of the cast were probably just the filmmaker’s friends and family or other citizens from their hometowns and communities, this is somewhat excusable and adds some of that “regional” charm that I usually enjoy in films from directors like Bill Rebane or Bill Grefe. In this instance, the desire to highlight these folks as much as possible, while commendable, does lead to an almost obsessive focus on mundane activities, such as packing luggage, and not enough attention to things like story or pacing… or lighting… or editing… or effects… or… well, you get the drift.

There are a few bloopers and outtakes included at the end of the film, and these may be the highlight of The Horror of the Hungry Humongous Hungan as they showcase the fun being had on set by both cast and crew. As I’m sure many of them still have very fond memories of that experience, I guess that makes the film something of a success. For them. For the rest of us, it’s just a cinematic sedative. Really, in retrospect, I probably should have just reviewed one of those old Ripley’s episodes. Hell, I probably should have reviewed watching grass grow. Unfortunately, while The Horror of the Hungry Humongous Hungan is (as of the time of this recording) available to watch on Tubi, livestreams of people’s lawns aren’t.

Then again, maybe they are. Tubi really does have all the things that you truly don’t need to watch.

(If a trailer exists for this film, I was not able to find it.)