As previously discussed, the Fall season has begun, and the change in weather patterns and the colors of foliage will undoubtedly lure many into the great outdoors for weekend getaways of rest, relaxation, and, as many horror films over the years have shown us, partying. Even your host spends the last week of each October secluded away in a cabin… located on property owned and operated by a multi-billion dollar mass media and entertainment conglomerate. Ehh, it’s the effort that matters.

However, as those same horror films have taught us over the years, nature is scary and offers a multitude of things just waiting to kill you. This isn’t even factoring in the various masked maniacs, inbred freaks, and Prophecy bears that seem to litter the forests and mountainsides of this nation. Simply put, there’s very little reason to even leave your house these days, especially with things like Tubi, DoorDash, and Amazon drones around to supply all our needs with just the press of a finger. So, stay home! Just sit on your couch, order some take-out, and just watch horror movies on your big screen TV all day! Oh, and be sure to keep reading Horror And Sons for more insightful tips like this!

Now, back to this year’s series…

Mat Herndon has been a friend to the site for many years now, having joined us for the Halloween Horrors series since its earliest days. Mat returns once again this year, having been assigned the task of discussing a film with a 1-word title.  His film of choice is one that helps reinforce the notion that maybe you should just stay inside.

Be sure to check out Mat’s Etsy shop (www.etsy.com/shop/matgettinartsy) for all his latest artwork and designs, and pick up a few stickers why you’re at it! Thanks!

If you’re reading this or any of the other Halloween Horrors entries, chances are you probably thrive in the spooky season. It’s a marvelous time when you can find just about everything pumpkin flavored, “normies” actually accept skeletons as home decor, and the more obscure horror films catch a wider range of new and returning eyeballs. As fun and entertaining as the usual suspects (Halloween, The Exorcist, A Nightmare on Elm Street, etc..) are, let me throw out an underrated 90’s gem. It’s squishy, gooey, and just plain over the top in the best ways! I’m talking about 1993’s Ticks. This is a creature flick that shows freak parasites also have a place in any great Halloween watch party.

If you’ve never seen Ticks, allow me to bring you up to speed. A small group of troubled teenagers go on what is supposed to be a “character building” outdoors retreat. What they stumble on is nightmare fuel in the form of ticks the size of melons. The movie is basically an eighty-five minute lesson on why nature is gross, camping is lame, and maybe the environment can suck it. All this said, it is such a fun and wacky watch.

The effects are practical, deliciously slimy, and gooey. This has an old school creature feature/ body horror feel where these blood-sucking jerks on steroids look like they’re made in Satan’s Jello molds and filled with slime and hateful thoughts. When the ticks inevitably breach the characters’ skin, it is not done delicately; they burst out like they got places to be and asses to kick. Watching this as an adult makes me truly appreciate all the hard work it took to make these giant creepy crawlies instead of the CGI that has become so common today.

Then, we have this great cast. A young, sensitive Seth Green showing glimpses of why he continues to get work to this day. What really steals the scene is the entrance of Alfonso Ribeiro, probably most known as “Carlton” from “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air”. Here he plays a street tough named “Panic”, cementing his place in my brain for years with the unforgettable line, “They call me Panic because I never do.” Seeing Carlton Banks as a leather jacket-clad wannabe-thug has a forever spot in my heart. Clint Howard also pops up in a spectacularly hammy and silly scene.

The plot is as nutty as you’d expect. The ticks are mutated from chemicals used to make marijuana grow in a nearby farm. Yep, we got giant ticks causing mayhem thanks to weed fertilizer. Only in the 90s’ could something like this get pitched and then get funded. It honestly reminds me of something an anti-drug campaign would play in school.

So, why does Ticks work so well for Halloween? It’s super gross in all the right ways and is unintentionally funny at times, which makes for fun “watch parties” in a group. This isn’t a movie you just watch, you fully experience it. You yell at the screen, “Hell no! Screw camping!” You laugh at all the cheesy moments. It’s the perfect mix of gross and fun for spooky season. Of course, you could watch something more “sophisticated” or bone chillingly scary, but do you really wanna miss out on Carlton as a streetwise thug? Ticks fits comfortably in the Halloween comfort movie category.

Now let’s imagine Ticks as the anti-drug campaign that could run during Halloween season in schools, which it clearly wanted to be. Cue an up-tempo beat with Alfonso Ribeiro dressed in a denim vest standing in front of a campfire.

“Hey kids, they call me Panic, because I never do. I stay ready for whatever trouble might come my way. If you don’t wanna panic this Halloween check out these fresh tips:

Number One: Always wear bug spray in the woods. It ain’t gonna stop mutant ticks, but at least the mosquitos will stay off you.

Number Two: If a giant tick jumps at your face, don’t try to become homies with it. Turn the other way and run like you owe them money.

Number Three: If you’re tryin to grow some nice marijuana, stick to the basics. None of them wild chemicals. The bugs don’t need that help.

And lastly, if anybody asks why they call me Panic, it’s cuz I never do. Stay safe and stay fresh this Halloween! Enjoy that candy!“