This here is a review, of sorts, for the new film Death Blood 4. Many of you may have never heard of the first 3 films in the Death Blood franchise, which is understandable. You see, they don’t actually exist.

Now, I would love to tell you that Death Blood 4 is a spoof of horror films, particularly 80s-era slashers. I would love to tell you this if only to make explaining this film simpler, but the truth is that I don’t really know just what in the Hell Death Blood 4 is.

Let’s just take things step by step…

Death Blood 4 opens with exceptionally brief summaries of the first 3 Death Blood films, as told through trailers… that is, had these films existed in reality. It sets forth the story of Sara Shane, a babysitter who must stop a nano-robotic blood virus known as the “Death Blood” from infecting ordinary citizens and transforming them into zombie-like killers. However, for the fourth film, Sara is nowhere to be found, presumably still in outer space, as implied by the title of the third Death Blood “film”, “Death Blood 3: Death Blood in Space

In this fourth installment of the imaginary film series, the Death Blood has returned yet again. After taking possession of the body of a pizza parlor owner, the Death Blood falls under the control of evil local police chief, Beefe. If it is ever made clear just why Beefe seeks control of the Death Blood, I admit to missing it. I also admit to zoning out a few times. More on that later.

It falls to Cindy, Sara’s daughter, to stop both the Death Blood and Chief Beefe. Along the way, she enlists the aid of her comic book clerk roommate (who happens to be an engineering genius), a pizza guy, an alien, and even a talking television in toppling this threat to humanity! The talking TV set may have been a tad too much.

Death Blood 4 comes to us from Chris De Pretis, who produced the film with the help of family and friends for just over $3,000. While it’s impressive that De Pretis was able to not only produce the film for such a miniscule budget, but also get it released for viewing on such a high-traffic streaming site, there is absolutely no denying that the film shows its budget. Normally, this is where I might try to justify the low end quality of the special effects, but truth be told, there really aren’t any. 

Honestly, there’s arguably not much of anything, as the vast majority of Death Blood 4‘s 97-minute runtime primarily consists of dialog and scenes of people walking. As for the dialog, it’s not overly witty, but I do not believe it’s really trying to be. The characters seem to be focused squarely on progressing the plot, no matter how ridiculous it intentionally may seem. 

The most notable aspect of Death Blood 4 is that in spite of a preposterous concept, the film is not played for laughs nearly as much as one might expect. In fact, there’s very little “tongue-in-cheek” or “camp” to be found anywhere, and this remains unchanged even when Bigfoot shows up late in the game! Despite all the odd ideas presented by Death Blood 4, the aspect that confuses me the most is that I have no clue who the “target audience” for this film is? Who was this film made for?

The answer may be that the film was “made” for none other than those that made it. For less than a down payment on a new car (well, a good new car), De Pretis and his cast and crew can say that they “made” a movie! They can say that they were a director, or an actor, or even an alien from outer space! Actually, as the alien is only truly shown in human form, no one will be making that last claim. The point is, they made a movie that they can enjoy amongst themselves! Who knows? Maybe others will watch it and possibly enjoy it too. I mean, they got me to watch it, although I can’t really say that I enjoyed it. Either way, it’s there… available for anyone to watch.

If anything, maybe the “point” of Death Blood 4 is to mock horror franchises that have carried on farther than they should have, running themselves into absurdity. Look at the last dozen or so Puppet Master films that Full Moon has released over the last 20 years. Actually, look at any film that Full Moon has released over the last 20 years! Eventually, the “gimmick” loses its charm, and it’s better to say goodbye than to endlessly parade out the same tired corpse in a new, increasingly cheaper suit! While I can’t say that Death Blood 4 is better than the majority of those films, I can’t really say it’s worse either. It’s undeniably more entertaining than Doll Graveyard (2005), but so is passing a stone, so maybe this wasn’t the best comparison.

In conclusion, I can’t really recommend Death Blood 4, but I kind of respect it. I mean, I haven’t made a movie, now have I? Death Blood 4 was recently released to Amazon Prime Video, and is free to watch with subscription.