It’s the Halloween season, and as we’ve already discussed at the beginning of this series, many of you are probably a few films deep into your Halloween season watchlists and viewings. While we always have the marathons of films each October on outlets such as AMC or Turner Classic Movies, our own collections of films on physical media, and now horror-centric streaming outlets such as Shudder and Screambox helping to add to our October movie viewings, the number of screenings and marathons happening at local drive-ins, film festivals, and October horror conventions these days has helped add yet another avenue for horror film fans to experience not only newer releases, but also their perennial favorites each new Halloween season.

Returning contributor Paul Ashford returns to the Halloween Horrors series to discuss such an experience, one that he himself recently attended. Much like his entry from last year’s series on 1987’s splatter classic, Street Trash, Paul shares what it was like to experience his film topic not only on the big screen for the first time, but also in an environment where he was surrounded by like-minded film fans. The fact that this particular film was presented in its original 3-D presentation just adds a little something extra.

One of this series’ original participants and a longtime friend, I’m always honored to have Paul join our series. I’m also quite happy and proud to see him continuously expanding into new projects, whether that be his long-running Little Rubber Monsters Facebook page, his role at the Ghoulies Movies Facebook page, and now his new co-hosting spot on the Celluloid Psychosis podcast. That said, I will make him write an article on Ghoulies IV one of these days.

 

 

Treasure of the Four Crowns (1983)

Well, where to start with this one? Treasure of the Four Crowns is essentially an Indiana Jones rip off, released in 1983 by the notorious Cannon Group…  and just seeing that Cannon logo alone should clue you in to what to expect; A mish mash of ideas, set pieces, corny acting, and special effects thrown at the screen. Well, mostly OUT of the screen in 3-D for this particular movie. Of course, one thing it also means is that you are in for an entertaining ride, and boy, does this movie deliver on that!

The plot consists of our hero JT Striker recruiting an “elite” team, consisting of a drunk, an old performing clown with a dicky heart, and his trapeze artist daughter who, along with Professor Montgomery, are assigned to go and raid a castle and steal the ultimate treasure, “The Four Crowns”, from a Ming the Merciless looking bad guy called Brother Jonas. The plot doesn’t really matter though as this film only has one thing in mind, to blow you away with the 3D effects… and that it tries. It really, really tries…

The first 20 minutes of this movie doesn’t even have a single word of dialogue. We just get a wonderfully cheesy setup of JT Striker in a haunted castle, trying to escape after stealing a golden key. This is really wonderful stuff, with fake looking eagles on strings flying at the camera, plastic snakes popping out at you, invisible ghosts shooting crossbows, cobweb covered knights in armour chasing you, and zombified corpses rising from the dead and stumbling out of the screen. This first 20 minutes is so action packed, and with the 3D gimmick working overdrive, it really did remind me of one of those 4-D experiences you’d get at theme parks; the likes of Terminator 3D, Pirates 4D, or the really old 360 Cinema screen experiences I remember as a kid.

Honestly, after this crazy start, the movie has a lot to live up to. The pace does slow down somewhat as it sets up the characters and how they are going to attempt to steal the Four Crowns. During these slower scenes, we still get every excuse to utilise 3D, be it pointless things like holding out a magnifying glass, to downright bizarre things like a group of furiously aggressive tambourine players. The only part of this movie that I felt dragged a little were the scenes where they set up to infiltrate the castle. It’s all done by them setting up ropes and trapezing across the ceiling. Of course, some needless 3D bits like ratchet straps dangling into the camera and the characters lowering themselves feet first into the screen are included.

BUT… things suddenly kick off again in the last 15 minutes or so. JT finally gets his hands on the crowns (weirdly, there are only 2), albeit at the expense of his team who are mostly killed off in various different ways. We are treated to some hilarious effects, such as JT’s head uncontrollably spinning around, him turning into a fire shooting zombie and eliminating all of the bad guys, and Brother Jonas slowly falling to pieces before turning into a pile of bones and ashes. There’s one final “jump out” 3-D effect right at the end where a steaming pile of goo rises from a swamp and a monster head shoots out directly at the screen.

So, to summarise, The Treasure of the Four Crowns is a really wild ride. I was extremely lucky to catch a 35mm 3D screening of it here in the UK this past September as part of Grindfest 2024, and to say that the audience enjoyed the experience is an understatement. There was plenty of laughing and whooping at the 3-D and the dialogue, with JT’s “Here I come, you magical son of a bitch!” being my favourite stand out quote.

Yes, the audience participation and 3-D definitely elevated my experience watching this one, but I would highly recommend that you watch this as a cheesy build up to Halloween. The eye-popping 3-D, plastic snakes, and zombies are perfect for some family friendly spooky season fun! And I didn’t even mention the fact that the soundtrack is scored by none other than Ennio Morricone! Talk about how to elevate a cheesy movie to the next level!

Once again, I must thank Dustin of Horror and Sons for allowing me to do a Halloween Horrors review, and JUST about getting into the “4” theme. I mean it could have been worse… Ghoulies 4 was my backup choice. Oh, the horror!