Ep. 9 (12/2/1984) – A Case of the Stubborns – Based on a story by Robert Bloch (Teleplay by James Houghton) – Directed by Jerry Smith

In this episode possibly set somewhere near the turn of the century, we’re introduced to a stubborn old coot named Titus Tolliver (Eddie Bracken, who is probably best known by modern audiences as Roy Walley in National Lampoon’s Vacation). Titus is so stubborn that he refuses to accept the fact that he died the previous night. Instead, he continues along, spending his days just like he would any other. At first, this comes as a shock to his daughter (Barbara Eda-Young – Serpico, The Naked Brothers Band: The Movie) and grandson, Jody (Christian Slater in an early role), but Titus’s refusal to lay down and die soon becomes something more than a nuisance, especially once rigor mortis and decomposition begin to set in.

When visits from the local doctor (Bill McCutcheon, who will always be Santa Claus Conquers the Martians‘ “Dropo” to me) and minister (Brent Spiner, “Data” from “Star Trek: The Next Generation“) fail to convince Tolliver that he is no longer among the living, Jody must resort to seeking help from a woman that the townsfolk believe to be a witch (Tresa Hughes – The Sentinel, Fame).

Despite the morbid plot, “A Case of the Stubborns” is a highly effective piece of black-humored comedy, featuring solid performances from all of its cast, particularly Bracken and Spiner. Despite the morbid theme, “A Case of the Stubborns” is undoubtedly one of the series’ strongest comedic episodes. There’s also some gnarly make-up effects on display as Tolliver undergoes steady decay as the episode progresses, ending with an effect that’s really quite gross, yet not exactly what many would consider gory.

All in all, “A Case of the Stubborns” is one that I consider to be among the first season’s strongest episodes, if not the series as a whole. Too bad I can’t say the same for the next episode.

SECOND COMING: As many horror fans undoubtedly know, Christian Slater would return to the Darkside once more, appearing in 1990’s Tales From The Darkside: The Movie. As a huge fan of the series (and being underaged), I would force my mother to take me to the theater to watch the film on its opening night.

 

Ep. 10 (1/13/85) – Djinn, No Chaser – (Adapted by Haskell Barkin) Based on a story by Harlan Ellison – D: Shelley Levinson

“Djinn, No Chaser” opens to find the fairly neurotic Danny Squires (Charles Levin, who appeared in Woody Allen’s Annie Hall and Manhattan before joining the cast of TV’s “Alice” for its final 2 seasons) confined to a straight-jacket and recounting to an unseen psychiatrist the events that led to his stay in a mental health facility.

Having recently married, Danny and his new wife, Connie (Colleen Camp – Clue, Death Game), go on a shopping trip to find furnishings for their new apartment. The couple stumble across a tent, one that looks like it came from an old Egyptian caravan, that mysteriously appears where just moments prior sat an empty lot. Entering the tent, Connie finds an antique oil lamp that she thinks would look great in their new home. Danny haggles with the proprietor in order to score the cheapest price, and the couple return home with the lamp.

Jokingly hoping that the ancient legend about genies that grant your wildest wishes is true, Connie begins to rub the lamp. Instead of being greeted by a friendly genie, much like Shaquille O’Neal in Kazaam, the couple are chided by the voice of an ill-tempered being who seems more interested in making their lives a living Hell. The genie’s antics generally consists of trashing the couple’s new apartment and constantly belittling them.

Things continue in this fashion for the bulk of the episode, with scenes of Danny explaining the situation to the psychiatrist occasionally interspersed. After an undisclosed time dealing with the genie’s wrath, Danny leaves in order to seek medical help (hence the psychiatrist), as well as a little peace and quiet. He eventually returns home and is shocked to discover that all has seemingly returned to normal. He’s just as shocked to find the genie (NBA legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar) freed from his imprisonment, thanks to Connie’s use of an ordinary, everyday can opener.

“Djinn, No Chaser” is played very much as a comedy. That said, I just don’t find the episode to be remotely funny. In fact, I find the episode to be more than a little annoying, due primarily to the performances of Levin and Abdul-Jabbar. To be quite honest, it’s highly likely that “Djinn, No Chaser” is my least favorite episode of the series’ entire run.

CAMP’S HORROR CRED:  In addition to starring in 1977’s Death Game, Colleen Camp also co-wrote the film’s script. Camp would also appear in the “Korman’s Kalamity” episode of “Tales from the Crypt” (which starred Harry Anderson, who stars in the next Tales episode), as well as 1992’s The Vagrant, 2006’s Dead & Deader, 2010’s Psych:9, and 2015’s Knock, Knock (a damn-near remake of Death Game), that she co-produced. Camp would also serve as a co-producer on some of the titles from the “Roger Corman Presents” series of remakes for Showtime in the mid-90’s, such as Earth Vs the Spider, She Creature, The Day the World Ended, Teenage Caveman, and How To Make a Monster (in which she had a small part).

 

Ep. 11 (1/20/85) – All a Clone by the Telephone – W: Haskell Barkin – D: Frank De Palma

Leon (the late Harry Anderson of “Night Court” fame), a struggling scriptwriter, has his world turned upside down when he discovers his answering machine has been taken over by an alternate version of himself. At first, this voice-recording doppleganger is merely a nuisance, providing mildly crude messages to calls from his agent (Dick Miller in an uncredited role) and girlfriend, Dolores (Marcie Barkin – Fade to Black, The Van). However, this “other Leon” has its own plans for a bigger role in (the real) Leon’s life.

When Leon decides to disconnect the answering machine, he begins to be barraged by calls from all sorts of automated recordings, such as movie listings, IRS audit warnings, and even weather reports from other states. Slowly losing his mind, Leon is soon informed of what may just be his “big break”: a chance to write a major television miniseries. Upon meeting with the producer, Leon discovers that the story idea that has peaked the man’s interest is not one that he even invented, but was instead left on the producer’s answering machine by none other than… well, you know who.

Determined not to let this opportunity pass him by, Leon returns home and reconnects his answering machine. However, Leon soon learns that this voice on his machine doesn’t just want to be part of his life. It wants to be in charge of it!

Much like “Djinn, No Chaser” before it, “All A Clone by the Telephone” is played mostly for laughs, albeit with much darker overtones. However, unlike that previous episode, “All A Clone…” proves to be a much more entertaining and thought-provoking episode, thanks in large part to an entertaining performance from Anderson. Dick Miller once again does a stellar job of playing Dick Miller, which (for fans of his, like myself) is more than enough reason to give the episode a watch.

Despite being an avid watcher of “Night Court” in the 1980s, I honestly didn’t care much for “All A Clone…” for quite some time. Now that I’m older and have a little more grasp of some of the concepts presented within the episode, I do enjoy it much more. That said, I still don’t consider it one of the series’ stronger episodes, much less one of the better episodes of Tales From The Darkside‘s first season. 

OUTDATED TECHNOLOGY: So, what happens to this alternate dimension version of Leon once answering machines became obsolete. Did it somehow manage to move over to his cell phone’s voice mail? Does Leon just hang on to his answering machine all these years? Who even has a landline these days? Why have I put this much thought into this subject when I’m not even that much of a fan of the episode?